WANT

http://www.sideshowtoy.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?item=6357&affiliate=CD1176

It caught up to me!

It's interesting how fast things catch up to me. I didn't exactly expect it to be almost 20 days between updates, but that's how it happens sometimes I suppose.

I guess I just figured I didn't have much to say. And I hate forcing out ideas. Blah. I'll get something up soon. As soon as something pisses me off, I'll write about it.

The Narrow-Minded Trap.

Recently, two separate people, on two separate occasions called me "narrow-minded." This startled me. As both people who brought it up are two of my close friends, and they also hate each other to be honest. Anyway, the first time was about a comment I made on someones hair. It was shaved all the way down, except for a strip in the middle, like a mohawk. Except it was only maybe a quarter inch long. I said it looked "dopey." The second time was a little more heated. We were having a conversation on socialized medicine. My stance was opposite hers, and I was called "narrow-minded" for not seeing her side.

These two instances happened within a few weeks of each other, and I have never been called narrow-minded before, so I took some pause to contemplate it all recently. Partly because I was afraid that perhaps it was true, and the other reason (more to the point) I wanted them to be wrong.

See, the problem with this statement is that it is an under-handed insult. It's a simple way to get out of an argument with someone that you don't want to be in. Just like "I don't want to argue but..." It falls under the same category. There is no real way to prove otherwise. How can I (or you, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation) prove that I am open to new ideas? Truly, I cannot. The only way to prove that you are open-minded to this person is to declare yourself defeated, and they are correct. A silly, if not even preposterous solution.

The other part of the problem with trying to end arguments with the narrow-minded trap is that it instills within the speaker a sense of intelligence. "See?" They are saying to themselves "Open-minded people think this way, and open-minded people are intelligent. Therefor, you are not intelligent because you do not agree with me." Again, who is to say that the listener is not intelligent? What if I just flat-out disagree with them? I know this might sound wild, but it's entirely possible that people of equal intelligence can think different ways. Crazy.

One final point before I leave you, if you are close-minded about certain things, so what? I know it means nothing to me if you won't listen to music that I like. It means nothing if you don't want to watch movies that I think are good. Hell, it means nothing to me if you stop reading this blog because you do not like my ideas. It has no real affect on me or anyone else.

And remember, you can always just say it back.

I speak of futures not immantent, but underway.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

It was one of those days yesterday. I spent a lot of time running around to get ready for an evening. The evening itself was great. But I have run into a huge issue.

I didn't realize that I was hurting some people. It was something completely unintentional. Something that I had no desire to do at all. I feel awful. Truly awful. For as good as my evening turned out, it was not worth hurting those who I cared about. I really don't know what to do. At all. Maybe time will fix it, I hope so.

I took advantage of a situation that I shouldn't have. Of people who I shouldn't have.

There isn't enough that I can say, and I feel that my grasp on our language stops me from really getting any further with portraying my feelings.

I am sorry.


I never felt like crying oceans before...

Bah.

No, I'm not updating today. Sorry. Just too busy with things right now. Getting back from the trip, and going to school. I'm just really busy, so this will not be like, a topical update, just a what's going on thing.

Like I said, I'm back. The trip was absolutely great. I'm still on a bit of a buzz, actually. We had a ridiculous time. Some cool things happened, which at some time, I'll relate to you.

Gah, cannot think. Too much to do. I am having a party tonight, and I have a birthday party tomorrow night that I must attend.

Oh! I got a new phone. It's a BlackJack. So, I wanna get some little programs for it. If anyone knows some good stuff or sites to get the good stuff, lemme know.

Until Monday!

I fall to bits

Again,

Not much of an update. Expect a real one Friday. Sorry about this. But I'm not sorry about having a kick ass vacation.

all I ever wanted

Don't worry, if anything were to happen, there are two lifeboats aboard.

No, there isn't really an update. I'm on vacation. Just know, however, that I am having a grand time.

Do something for me boys, if I should die at sea boys, write a little note boys, set if off afloat saying, "Bless you, bless you, all of you pretty girls."

Wait...when did this happen?

So, since when did being a nerd become cool? Did Napoleon Dynamite do this? What the hell? I mean, we've spent our entire lives not being cool, not being hip, and the whole concept that our culture has suddenly become "in" well, it's unsettling.

So, I've decided to come up with a way that helps us weed out the people who have just jumped on the bandwagon. It's a simple quiz. And if you doubt for one second that I do not have the credentials to make this quiz, you are sorely mistaken. You are currently reading the blog of someone who has spent many a Saturday night de-fragging a hard drive. Ready?

1. Have you ever actually opened your computer to fix or upgrade anything?

2. Have you ever sat through and watched at least 5 hours of Star Trek in one sitting? (Bonus points if you organized a marathon!)

3. Firefox or IE?

4. Do you have a miniature figure of any character?

5. Have any game systems? (And no, the NES the family had when you were a kid does not count. Virtually everyone had an NES growing up.)

6. Built a model?

7. Bonus! Leia or Amidala?

No, there is no score. Just stop telling me you watched Transformers when you were a kid, so that make you a nerd. It doesn't work like that.

Fuckers.

Also, updates might be coming for a week. Things will be shaky given my position on or over the Atlantic.

you may be drawn by sight

Sorry.

but there isn't much of an update today. I'm getting ready for my cruise in two days, so I'm super busy getting my ducks in a line. I'll try to write and update while I'm away, but I make no guarantees.

Suffice to say, there should be a real update on Wednesday.

If only I had more time.

Get your racial agenda out of my video games!

I usually avoid topics like race, creed, and sex when it comes to “equal rights.” In my mind, the easiest way to fix the issue is to well, ignore people’s race, creed, and sex. I guess those things never really mattered to me. And I avoid the topics because I find them ridiculous in most facets. Where some people see racism and horrendous acts similar to lynching, I see an event, one not even necessarily real. Such is the case with the Resident Evil 5 trailer.

Before I get to the main topic, let me first give you a brief synopsis of the games story. Someone has found a parasite that infects a host, and as it grows, it makes the host more and more susceptible to the commands of someone who has a thing, I am not sure of the details, that part is never really explained. Something to do with the human equivalent of a dog whistle, I think. Anyway, this makes the host have many zombie-like characteristics, but they are not undead, so they are not technically zombies. I have grown fond of calling them as such. “Not Zombies.”

Anyway, the latest in the series has a character from a previous game, Chris Redfield(or some shit) coming into a town in Africa and fighting these not zombies. The game looks much like it will play very similarly to RE4. Anyway, back to the point.

http://tinyurl.com/2apanx

Some overly sensitive nut job has officially taken the crown for overly sensitive nut job Queen. She has taken serious issue with “the killing of Black people by a white man in military clothing.” Whoa now. See, this is a direct quote from her page. I just want to point out something that may or may not have any bearing on my point before I get to the real meat of this post. Notice that “Black” is capitalized, while “white” is not. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

See, she has no idea that this is the fifth main installment of Resident Evil. There have been close to a dozen games so far, and this is the first time the zombies have been black. The rest of the time, the zombies have been white, (save for the Spaniards in the beginning of RE4). I’d say blacks are getting off pretty easy if anything.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? We have to talk about who is what color. I mean, it stands to reason that if the game is set in Africa, the people there would be black. Or does the author simply want us to ignore Africa and black people all together? Is that what people need to do to get rid of racism? Because that, my dear readers, is not only offensive to myself and people like me who don’t fear or hate people because of their skin color, it is also fucking retarded.

These stupid posts are the reason for racism. I feel that needs clarification. The reason that stupid racist crap exists in our nation, a nation which wholly endorses people of mixed races (or gives those who are not white an advantage, depending on whose side your on), is that we are so afraid of being considered racist, that we try and block out all knowledge of other people. And not necessarily in the way that I discussed earlier, but in a way that is foul. Sidestepping the race entirely, pretending they do not exist. So, with that fear instilled in people, whenever they see race, it’s immediately wrong. It’s ignorance, plain and simple.

The reason we have people like this, is quite simple. Other people, probably their parents or other authority figures, instilled this idea that anytime a black person is portrayed as evil, it’s racism. She can’t even begin to grasp that maybe, just maybe, the 300 Japanese people working on this game don’t give a shit about who the zombies are. That this wasn’t on purpose to hurt the black community. It seems to be beyond her comprehension.

Another of her quotes really gets me angry. “..the fact that this video game is marketed to children and young adults. Start them young… fearing, hating, and destroying Black people.” Really? Fucking really? First, young people huh? A game rated M, the equivalent of “R” in movies, is targeted towards youth? Suppose the rating system didn’t even exist. Does she think that a game about blowing the heads off zombies with a 9mm is for kids? Like 8 year olds?

And again, it’s only logical that a game that takes place in Africa would have black people in it. I don’t really think that the player will think of this as “destroying” (not killing mind you, destroying) black people. I would even doubt that their color will be brought up in the game at all. The player will only be concerned with one thing; Killing those Goddamned not zombies. We (as gamers) aren’t going to be thinking “Oh shit! A nigger! Shoot it! Shoot it!” We will, however, be thinking “Oh fuck, not zombies are after me! Run the fuck away and then fire. Shit…I’m out of ammo. Shit. Shit. Shit.” I’m almost certain the idea that they are black won’t even cross our minds. We will be too busy having fun.

We, as a nation, spend too much time on this shit. Why do we even need to worry about it? Thinking about skin color only further separates us as people. Acting like you are the poor and impoverished only further places you in that group. Not to mention that people who hear you, will be more likely to believe that it’s true. Making your statement a self- fulfilling prophecy. Grow some balls, and realize that sometimes, the bad guy will be black. And don’t take it personally. They aren’t evil because they are black, they are evil because they are not quite zombies, and they happen to be black. It’s almost racist that it’s taken this long for the villains to be black.

Worrying about who we will offend is seriously only going to make racism worse. This takes away from actually racial issues in the world. Ones that are important, ones that actually have an affect on you. Actual hate, and fear, and destruction. You are cheapening these events when you pull some bullshit like this and want to scream “foul!” The more we look around and point, and say “Hey look! There’s racism over there!” the more there will be. Unless we just act like black people are just that, people, we will always be aware of the differences. And isn’t that what racism is anyway? Pointing out that you are different than me?

Now, I’m not saying that from this point onwards, all zombies or villains should be black, or anything like that, but I am saying that it’s not an issue if they are black on occasion. I mean, I never complained about white guys being killed before. Why is it suddenly a race thing? I could just as easily bitch and moan about every other game that’s even been made where the bad guy is white. Fuck, I could say that as a human, I am offended that humans are portrayed as bad.

Oh, and the biggest, most important reason this is not racism; It’s a video game. It’s just for fun.

I think that’s enough Whiskey Tango Foxtrot for today. Until Monday!

with your strict machine...

Not that it really matters anyway...

But I feel bored with alot of the old stuff that used to excite me. I think this is a normal thing for most people, so I don't really feel like I'm an oddball or anything like that. Just that it's odd.

Case in point, there are a few webcomics that I used to love reading everytime a new one popped up. But lately, they are just boring me. XKCD mainly. It's just...not funny anyway. Maybe it's just the type of humor is wearing thin, or maybe the artist is just running out of ideas. Either way, I don't really rush to read the new ones or anything. I still keep up, but I think that's becoming more out of habit than anything else.

Humor is an interesting thing sometimes. Most of the time really. Spock claims it to be an illogical concept. I would agree. It often doesn't make sense what's funny and what isn't. I mean, it's hilarious when Wil E. Coyote falls off a cliff, but in most cases, it's an intense and stressful event. Most comedies to me, are not funny. There are a few yes, that I will laugh at. And even fewer that are still funny some time later. But Austin Powers never really did it for me. Nor Jim Carey, or Adam Sandler. And what the hell, can we move on from Dane Cook? He is not funny. He just says the same word over and over again until you laugh at it. He's the flesh and blood equivalent of that Foamy the Squirrel* flash cartoon.

Maybe I am just jaded when it comes to these things, but I don't really find dick and fart jokes funny. It's different though, when you and some friends are cutting up. For some reason, that's a different matter. I dunno.

But like Spock said, it's illogical.

1) http://tinyurl.com/23vqy7

with ya gangsta lean

A boring update.

Just somethings that are going on.

I got a PS3 last week. I really like it so far. We shall see as time passes how well the system holds up.

I am leaving in a little over a week for my cruise. Which is gonna be sweet. Don't worry, I'll try and still update.

I didn't realize that I would have to you know, try and get updates three times a week.

New shelf! It rocks me.

Yeah, I'm boring.

it starts in my soul and I loose all control

It's very difficult to discuss.

This topic is pretty touchy for me, as I am torn as to how I should handle the situation. Some of you know about my youngest brother, Rees, some of you do not. Saying he is a handful would be the understatement of the century. He's very difficult to deal with. Spoiled, angry, volatile, uncontrollable, and generally unpleasant. It's not that I don't love him, I do, I just don't like him. Now, to the actual topic.

I had to go to Florida to help deal with the situation. In what way? Well, I had to be there. For support. Morally I suppose. I didn't really do anything. And it's not the support I was supposed to offer that bothers me.

It's actually being told I have to do it.

Some of you are aware of my hatred of being told that I must, have, or am obliged to do anything. No one has to do anything. There is no collection agency out there making sure that people return favors to others. No, these things are done on ones own ambitions.

But the real kicker is, even if I did owe some sort of favor, this is not it. I am Rees' brother, not his father, or mother, or third parent. I'm 22, I'm working hard in college to get shit done. I'm doing well. I don't cause trouble, I have no run-ins with the fuzz. I think the only thing that could be considered displeasing that I've done in the past two years is my car accident. But really, how bad is that? If at all. This is not my responsibility. In any regard. I will help Rees, sure, but I won't be taking days out of my summer vacation to just sit around in a place where I don't want to be.

This is something that I think is important. People(including me) are too often pushed into things we don't want and don't have to do. And we are made to feel guilty about it if we don't. I was. Apparently, my parents helping me go to college means I owe them my life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Like, I mean, raise their children? Isn't that a rule somewhere?

I digress, start standing up for yourself. You don't have to do things you don't want to do. So don't. And don't feel bad about it. If these things are completely beyond your realm of responsibility, then don't worry about it. Because all that's happening now, is that you are helping other people's problems.

And that's what this family is doing, we are supporting Rees' issues.

Have a good weekend everyone. I'll have another update Monday. I know I've said it before, but I will try to make this a Monday, Wednesday, Friday thing.

Treat me like the sea, oh so salty and mean.

Florida wasn't far enough.

Some of you may or may not be aware that I was in Florida for a few days. My reasons for being there are, as usual, not quite logical. But I will go into that in a bit, first, some thoughts on being here.

I find that each time I go there, I like it a little bit less. And the last time I was there in December-January for the week of hell, I was pretty much neutral on the place. However, this time found me disliking it. It's not the physical changes, it's not the weather. It's the memories. Most of the old gang has moved on. Few of "us"(I use that term loosely) still remain there. We are at college, or starting new jobs, or both. And the few that have stayed, well, aren't doing much with themselves for the most part. This isn't true of everyone, just some.

It's also the memories. There are many good ones there, that is for sure. But whenever I'm there, I find that the bad ones outweigh the good ones heavily. Yes, it's some Laura stuff, but it's also the mentality I had when I was there. The best way to put it I think, is that I do not like who I was then. I probably liked me back then when I was me back then, but I like myself more now. I like being motivated, working hard, and such things. Past me liked living in the double-wide, being lazy, and well...being lazy. It was fun, but it really isn't present me. I need to be doing things.

I think that's a large reason I'm so much happier in Charlotte. I am motivated, I have things to work for. I have things that I accomplish here. I feel like I have a lot more structure. And that, having structure and accomplishing things, I think are what makes a place home. The first time that I remember calling Charlotte home was back in November. I was surprised that I had even said it, but I had. And I didn't feel like going to Florida was that big of a deal. I didn't really care to be there.

It's nothing against Pensacola. It's still a nice place to be I suppose. The beaches are nice. It's sunny. Warm most of the year. It's just I don't feel the emotional attachment I used to. And you know, I'm really completely okay with it. But don't feel bad if I don't go back every couple of months like I used to. I'm happier where I am now.

Well, that's it for today, I might clean this up later as I'm sure the flow is horrible, I am somewhat distracted right now. And Friday I should have an update up about why exactly I was here. Anyway, happy Wednesday to you all. Have a good one.

where the deer and the antelope play

A rather long update.

So, this is the surprise. A new blog that allows anonymous comments. To be honest, I find this site much more conducive to my needs. I really should have moved over earlier.

First things first. School is finished. I rounded out the summer with 3 A's. I must reiterate how good I feel about all this. I'm officially cock-slapping CPCC at this point. The doors that have now been opened to me are as numerous as they are variant. Though, I must say, the final week of classes was quite stressful. It's much different than the regular spring and fall semesters as the summer still has you learning new material up until that last moment possible. Needless to say, I sat in front of my computer for the better part of two days pressing F5 in an attempt to catch my grade releases as soon as possible.

Me and Ben are having a fight. I think it's past fight now, it's more of a falling out. I have grown very weary of his constant selfish actions, and a few weeks ago, he really took the cake, even for him. It's something I was willing to deal with, as most of his shit didn't directly affect me. But this final action really offended me and let his true colors come through. It's difficult to describe the feeling, but I think the best word for it is "relieved."

Thirdly, I am the owner of my third, count it, third PSP. As someone who has owned this system at various points in time over it's lifespan, I can commit to it's current stride. It has faltered at length for sometime, not in sales mind you, in actual quality software, but now it seems to be getting it's footing. Developers and Sony as well, have figured you cannot just shoehorn PS2 games onto this thing, and new games must be made from the ground up for it. Case in point; Killzone: Liberation. It's really good. I don't know how else to put it. It's not a FPS like it's big brother, but more of a tactical shooter of sorts. Needless to say, I am quite happy with the little thing as it stands. My DS still gets the majority of my nomadic gaming time, but with SH: Origins, and a new GoW on the way, I think the system will serve me well.

Finally, I thought I was sick. I am not. Which is good. Huzzah for me.

That is really all there is to report. I have a long winded diatribe on papers I wish to write for you, and I've been working on it off and on for several months. I want it to be good for you to read, so that will wait. Leave some comments now that you can without signing up. Bitches.

EDIT: I forgot to add. I have a squatter. My friend Christina is crashing here for a bit. It's nice to have company, but it kinda sucks that I cannot do all the things I wish to.

they hatin'

I'm gonna give this a whirl.

I'm moving my posting to this blog site. I might even get more than 4 hits here. Doubt it. But it's possible.