A boring update.

Just somethings that are going on.

I got a PS3 last week. I really like it so far. We shall see as time passes how well the system holds up.

I am leaving in a little over a week for my cruise. Which is gonna be sweet. Don't worry, I'll try and still update.

I didn't realize that I would have to you know, try and get updates three times a week.

New shelf! It rocks me.

Yeah, I'm boring.

it starts in my soul and I loose all control

It's very difficult to discuss.

This topic is pretty touchy for me, as I am torn as to how I should handle the situation. Some of you know about my youngest brother, Rees, some of you do not. Saying he is a handful would be the understatement of the century. He's very difficult to deal with. Spoiled, angry, volatile, uncontrollable, and generally unpleasant. It's not that I don't love him, I do, I just don't like him. Now, to the actual topic.

I had to go to Florida to help deal with the situation. In what way? Well, I had to be there. For support. Morally I suppose. I didn't really do anything. And it's not the support I was supposed to offer that bothers me.

It's actually being told I have to do it.

Some of you are aware of my hatred of being told that I must, have, or am obliged to do anything. No one has to do anything. There is no collection agency out there making sure that people return favors to others. No, these things are done on ones own ambitions.

But the real kicker is, even if I did owe some sort of favor, this is not it. I am Rees' brother, not his father, or mother, or third parent. I'm 22, I'm working hard in college to get shit done. I'm doing well. I don't cause trouble, I have no run-ins with the fuzz. I think the only thing that could be considered displeasing that I've done in the past two years is my car accident. But really, how bad is that? If at all. This is not my responsibility. In any regard. I will help Rees, sure, but I won't be taking days out of my summer vacation to just sit around in a place where I don't want to be.

This is something that I think is important. People(including me) are too often pushed into things we don't want and don't have to do. And we are made to feel guilty about it if we don't. I was. Apparently, my parents helping me go to college means I owe them my life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Like, I mean, raise their children? Isn't that a rule somewhere?

I digress, start standing up for yourself. You don't have to do things you don't want to do. So don't. And don't feel bad about it. If these things are completely beyond your realm of responsibility, then don't worry about it. Because all that's happening now, is that you are helping other people's problems.

And that's what this family is doing, we are supporting Rees' issues.

Have a good weekend everyone. I'll have another update Monday. I know I've said it before, but I will try to make this a Monday, Wednesday, Friday thing.

Treat me like the sea, oh so salty and mean.

Florida wasn't far enough.

Some of you may or may not be aware that I was in Florida for a few days. My reasons for being there are, as usual, not quite logical. But I will go into that in a bit, first, some thoughts on being here.

I find that each time I go there, I like it a little bit less. And the last time I was there in December-January for the week of hell, I was pretty much neutral on the place. However, this time found me disliking it. It's not the physical changes, it's not the weather. It's the memories. Most of the old gang has moved on. Few of "us"(I use that term loosely) still remain there. We are at college, or starting new jobs, or both. And the few that have stayed, well, aren't doing much with themselves for the most part. This isn't true of everyone, just some.

It's also the memories. There are many good ones there, that is for sure. But whenever I'm there, I find that the bad ones outweigh the good ones heavily. Yes, it's some Laura stuff, but it's also the mentality I had when I was there. The best way to put it I think, is that I do not like who I was then. I probably liked me back then when I was me back then, but I like myself more now. I like being motivated, working hard, and such things. Past me liked living in the double-wide, being lazy, and well...being lazy. It was fun, but it really isn't present me. I need to be doing things.

I think that's a large reason I'm so much happier in Charlotte. I am motivated, I have things to work for. I have things that I accomplish here. I feel like I have a lot more structure. And that, having structure and accomplishing things, I think are what makes a place home. The first time that I remember calling Charlotte home was back in November. I was surprised that I had even said it, but I had. And I didn't feel like going to Florida was that big of a deal. I didn't really care to be there.

It's nothing against Pensacola. It's still a nice place to be I suppose. The beaches are nice. It's sunny. Warm most of the year. It's just I don't feel the emotional attachment I used to. And you know, I'm really completely okay with it. But don't feel bad if I don't go back every couple of months like I used to. I'm happier where I am now.

Well, that's it for today, I might clean this up later as I'm sure the flow is horrible, I am somewhat distracted right now. And Friday I should have an update up about why exactly I was here. Anyway, happy Wednesday to you all. Have a good one.

where the deer and the antelope play

A rather long update.

So, this is the surprise. A new blog that allows anonymous comments. To be honest, I find this site much more conducive to my needs. I really should have moved over earlier.

First things first. School is finished. I rounded out the summer with 3 A's. I must reiterate how good I feel about all this. I'm officially cock-slapping CPCC at this point. The doors that have now been opened to me are as numerous as they are variant. Though, I must say, the final week of classes was quite stressful. It's much different than the regular spring and fall semesters as the summer still has you learning new material up until that last moment possible. Needless to say, I sat in front of my computer for the better part of two days pressing F5 in an attempt to catch my grade releases as soon as possible.

Me and Ben are having a fight. I think it's past fight now, it's more of a falling out. I have grown very weary of his constant selfish actions, and a few weeks ago, he really took the cake, even for him. It's something I was willing to deal with, as most of his shit didn't directly affect me. But this final action really offended me and let his true colors come through. It's difficult to describe the feeling, but I think the best word for it is "relieved."

Thirdly, I am the owner of my third, count it, third PSP. As someone who has owned this system at various points in time over it's lifespan, I can commit to it's current stride. It has faltered at length for sometime, not in sales mind you, in actual quality software, but now it seems to be getting it's footing. Developers and Sony as well, have figured you cannot just shoehorn PS2 games onto this thing, and new games must be made from the ground up for it. Case in point; Killzone: Liberation. It's really good. I don't know how else to put it. It's not a FPS like it's big brother, but more of a tactical shooter of sorts. Needless to say, I am quite happy with the little thing as it stands. My DS still gets the majority of my nomadic gaming time, but with SH: Origins, and a new GoW on the way, I think the system will serve me well.

Finally, I thought I was sick. I am not. Which is good. Huzzah for me.

That is really all there is to report. I have a long winded diatribe on papers I wish to write for you, and I've been working on it off and on for several months. I want it to be good for you to read, so that will wait. Leave some comments now that you can without signing up. Bitches.

EDIT: I forgot to add. I have a squatter. My friend Christina is crashing here for a bit. It's nice to have company, but it kinda sucks that I cannot do all the things I wish to.

they hatin'

I'm gonna give this a whirl.

I'm moving my posting to this blog site. I might even get more than 4 hits here. Doubt it. But it's possible.